My Life As A Vampire

Well...it's happening again. I'm back to my old nocturnal habits. No, I don't go around draining the blood from the unwary (although my baby brother and several other people might disagree)...and I loooove garlic. No...it's just that they rhythm of my life has always been contrary to "normal". Or at least what 98% of the world's population may consider "normal". It's not that I don't love sleep, I do. It just seems that my internal clock just seems to prefer to rev up after 11pm. I try to reset it by taking Ambien occasionally (especially if I have a doctor's appointment in the morning), but even that doesn't work at times. Thank God I usually work at night (7pm-7am)...I say usually because I have been on a bit of a hiatus from work...if a year can be called a "bit"...because of my mastectomy, chemotherapy, wound healing problems, 1st stage breast reconstruction surgery and hysterectomy. I'm finally going back to work on July 1st, part-time, and I can't wait to get back into the swing of things. It'll be nice to see my fellow night owls again and have people who understand my crazy schedule. Anyway, I guess I'll just try to stave off boredom by blogging...and it will also give me a chance to get my thoughts in order and review this past year. I don't want to get "deep" or become a philisophical windbag, but it's nice to be able to reflect on all the crap that has happened in the past year and try to work out the "whys" of everything. Confused yet??? Well...how to explain....uh....hmmm...okay, let me just say that I firmly believe that events, both good and bad, happen for a reason...I just need to figure out what those reasons are and try to learn from them. For instance...why did I have cancer??? Is it just part of the whole statistical nature of the universe...you know..."statistics show that 1 out of every 7 women will have breast cancer in their lifetime"...blah, blah, blah....and God counted off, "1...2...3...etc...7...you...yeah, you...you get cancer. You are now a statistic." Or is it for some other reason...am I supposed to take something from this experience, and somehow find a way to help those around me not become a statistic...like reminding them to do their self exams or by being vocal about being their own advocates when it comes to pushing their doctors about getting a mammogram....or something. Sigh... Don't get me wrong, I don't think I'm anything special; I'm not under any illusion that "God has picked me to be his messenger" or anything like that. But I do believe that maybe he picked me to do something more with my experiences than get a rather drastic boob job! Am I supposed to have some sort of epiphany from this or am I just one of the punchlines in the great big cosmic joke that the Almighty is playing on the Universe? No...I know, that sounded like I want some sympathy, but no...I'm just a tad befuddled. I just keep hoping that if this is a test that God grades on a curve!